I would like to give you a gift. Yes, I have something in my possession that, if you accept it, will change your life in ways that you never dreamed possible. My gift is free. I ask nothing in return. You can accept it and share it with others if you choose. In fact, I believe that there are others around you who would be eternally grateful to you for giving them such an amazing and priceless gift.
All that I ask of you, should you decide to accept my gift, is that you take some time to think about the implications of such a gift. Do not accept it if you do not feel ready to let it take you to new and exciting places. My gift has the potential to create both amazing possibilities as well as sheer terror at the same time! Happiness and fear … amazement and caution … belief and disbelief.
Prior to performing, what you “see” in your mind,
whether its weeks or just days before,
will tend to become who you are in that situation. ~ Don Greene, Ph.D.
Have you ever had a performance situation in which you pictured it going poorly?
Maybe you were going to speak in front of a large group, go to a possible career-changing interview, play in an important golf tournament, ask someone on a date or audition for a part in a theater production.
Where do you live?
I’m not asking the address of your home, I’m asking “Where do you LIVE?” Where does your mind reside? Where do you live in your thinking?
Most people I coach live in 1 of 2 places. The most common place is in the future, in the land of ‘What If ?’ This is the place where we say things such as, ”What if my presentation at work goes bad” or “What if I ask her on a date and she says “No”? or “What if I never make it as a Writer (or Musician, or ….)?”
“What if? …What if?…”
Yet another place that many live is in the past, in the land of ‘If Only’. “If only I had started my business earlier … If only I had more self-confidence … If only my family wasn’t so dysfunctional … If only I wasn’t rejected.”
If you’re not pushing yourself beyond the comfort zone, if you’re not constantly demanding more from yourself – expanding and learning as you go – you’re choosing a numb existence. You’re denying yourself an extraordinary trip.”
“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self,
to live out your purpose, and to do it fearlessly”
~ Steve Maraboli, Author
Recession … unemployment … climate change … general economic collapse … rapid population growth … polluted water … environmental disasters … instability, and anxiety … decline in the influence of the church.
Why, you wonder, am I trying to depress you with the current state of the world today? How can this possibly help me become bold in my life? I thought this blog was supposed to be a forward looking, positive guide to gaining freedom from fear.
The scenario that I describe above is, however, not an accounting of the world today, but, rather, a precise look at what was occurring in 13th century Europe!
“Change and growth takes place when a person has
risked themselves and dared to experiment with their own life.”
~ Philosopher Herbert Otto
In my 31 years of coaching and consulting I have had the privilege to work with world-class athletes, executives, writers, pastors, entrepreneurs and performance artists. During all of these years of working with thousands of individuals, I have never had anyone tell me,
“Can you please help me become a mediocre performer?”
“You know Dr. Nick, I am making way too many sales. How can I become a little less effective with my clients?”
“What are some ways to slow down my writing career?”
“I really don’t care if my art makes it to the marketplace.”
“I am perfectly happy staying afraid and playing it safe.”
I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot…and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
