Monthly Archives: March 2020

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Taking Charge in Times of Change (Part 2)

Change is not an option. Change is an Opportunity.

In this series I have been sharing with you how it is possible, during challenging times, that you can actually thrive rather than just survive.

How can you take advantage of this opportunity of change to dramatically move forward in your personal and professional life?

As I shared in Part 1, there are 3 keys to taking charge of your life during times of change:

  • Adjust Your Personal Vision
  • Discover Hope Out of Helplessness
  • Turn Powerlessness into Action

In my previous post, I discussed the importance of adjusting your personal vision (your unique picture of your personal future) in order to adjust the way in which we see our future to fit the new situation/condition by letting go to move forward. In this post I would like to share:

Key #2 – Discover Hope Out of Helplessness

“Change is hard on hope.”

Change and uncertainty can lead to:

  • Discouragement, losing your spirit
  • Feeling helpless or out of control
  • Destroying your self-confidence
  • Draining your energy

In order to deal with the uncertainty and fear of the future, we often will put on what I call ‘emotional armor’ to protect yourself. It makes sense that we would want to feel safe and protected during times of change, yet there is a cost to carrying around such armor.

In Medieval times, armies would create more and more armor to protect themselves from the enemy until it reached a point where the army with too much armor became weighed down and unable to fight!

In much the same way, extreme caution and fear can lead to emotional paralysis. You can become so weighed down with anxiety that you freeze while the realities of life keep on going.

Your focus on current and possible future problems destroys your ability to see opportunities within the change that is happening.

There are 3 types of emotional armor that many put on to protect ourselves. The key is to identify your armor in order to remove it and to feel lighter.

  • The Armor of the Fear of Risk-Taking(Resistance to Change)

Change is scary, and our tendency is to lose a childlike response to life.

“One of the most responsible things you can do as an adult is to become more of a child.” ~ Wayne Dyer

In times of change, become more childlike:

  • Take chances- become creative and more flexible
  • Change “What if” thinking to “So what” thinking
  • Allow for spontaneity in your life – start dreaming again!
  • Give yourself permission to laugh, have some fun and relax

“With a little madness (and childlike thinking) you can cut the rope (of fear) and be free!” ~Zorba the Greek

  • The Armor of a Lack of Self-Confidence

During times of change, LISTEN to your self-talk – Is it positive or negative?

As I have shared in a past post, quiet that negative and fear-inducing voice in your head!

“You cannot consistently perform or live in a manner which is inconsistent with the way you see or talk to yourself”

  • The Armor of Stress and a Lack of Balance

Take time for self-care:

  • Regular exercise, sleep and diet
  • Slow, focused breathing during times of anxiety
  • Set aside time for intentional activities for relaxation

“If the snooze button on your alarm is getting as worn out as you are, wake up – you may be burning out!” ~Patty Boyd

Identify and remove your emotional armor.

Change is not an option, but an opportunity to Discover Hope Out of Helplessness

I look forward to sharing Key #3, Turn Powerlessness into Action, in my next Post.

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Taking Charge in Times of Change (Part 1)

Change is not an option. Change is an Opportunity.

Change can happen slowly over time, and sometimes in what feels like a blink of an eye.

Think about changes in technology.

In 1943, the Chairman of IBM said, “I think that there is a world market for maybe 5 computers.”

In 1949, Popular Mechanics announced to a stunned readership that, “Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons!”

In 1977, the founder of Digital Equipment Corporation said, “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”

Then there are cultural changes as reflected in a Good Housekeeping magazine article in 1955 titled “The Good Wife’s Guide” that included such advice as, “Be a little more interesting for him…Be happy to see him…Make the evening his…Don’t greet him with complaints…A good wife always know her place.”

Ladies, please don’t kill me, I am only sharing an old article, not recommending it!

Yes, change has been, and will always be, happening.

My favorite story regarding how becoming older creates new challenges is the following,

A senior citizen is driving down the freeway, and his cell phone rings. He answers it and hears his wife’s voice urgently warn him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the 57. Please be careful!”

Herman responds, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”

Yes, humor is crucial during challenging times of change.

Yet, how is it possible, in times such as we are seeing all around us, that we can actually thrive rather than just survive? How can we take advantage of this opportunity of change to dramatically move forward in our personal and professional lives?

There are 3 keys to taking charge of your life during times of change.

  • Adjust Your Personal Vision
  • Discover Hope Out of helplessness
  • Turn Powerlessness into Action

In this post I would like to share Key #1:

  • Adjust Your Personal Vision

Our Vision is the manner in which we see, imagine or dream of something, your unique picture of your personal future.

Then change happens.

During change we must adjust the way in which we see our future to fit the new situation/condition by letting go to move forward.

It is so easy to want to focus on and cling to what has always been and felt comfortable, i.e., the way it used to be.

Yet, to move forward we must accept the reality of change/loss, allow ourselves to experience feelings of sadness, frustration or even pain, and then commit to moving forward, learning new skills, adapting to new situations and managing stress and overload.

Ask yourself, “Where am I going” “What is Important to Me?” “What are my Priorities”

Deep down, in your heart of hearts, what do you want? In your personal life, your health, in your career, and in the life of others.

In times of uncertainty and change, where are you headed, what is your dream?

“All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.” ~ Orison Swett Marden

Change is not an option, but an opportunity to adjust the direction of your life and career.

I look forward to sharing Key #2 in my next Post. In the meantime, in what ways are you intending to adjust your own personal vision this week?

“Overcome Anxiety & Panic ~ Audio Interview”

As you are so aware, we are going through some very challenging days, with more than likely the most disruptive still ahead of us. It is during these moments when we feel most out of control and that anxiety begins to escalate, leading to even more stress and feelings of fear.

I am finishing creating a Master Class Video that I will share with you soon entitled, Manage Your Anxiety During Times of Change, that I know you will find helpful and practical in the weeks ahead.

Until it becomes available, I want to provide you with some principles and skills that I was able to present during an interview a few years ago. In this interview, I share 1) how to identify the underlying causes of panic and anxiety; 2) the keys to developing more effective bodily responses to stress/anxiety and; 3) the secrets of powerful thought responses to stress.

Effective and practical information, not hyped up news reports or Facebook posts that get us worked up, is the first step to taking back a sense of control in our life.

Click here to access Interview

Thanks again for your support, and wishing you all the best as we all navigate these unknowns together!

 

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Have an Active Orientation to Life!

A theme that continually comes up in my coaching sessions with those who desire to move forward in their life, whether in dealing with a stressful performance situation, or in life experiences in general, is the hesitation to go after what they truly desire.

It is the difference between passively allowing fear and anticipation to guide your decision-making rather than having an active orientation to life.

In your art, in a performance situation or in significant relationships, are you a person who goes after what they want?

Do you say to the world, “This is what I want. I’m going to go for it.”

Children, before they ‘learn’ to be afraid or avoid anxiety-producing situations, will bounce back whenever they hit a wall or roadblock because that is what little kids do – until we teach them not to do it, until we knock that fearless perseverance out of them.

They just go for it.

A few years ago, I presented a talk at the Master Lecture Series for California Southern University entitled, Mental Toughness for Creating Outrageous Achievement. It was the highest viewed presentation I have delivered (on You Tube) and was so enjoyable to do. In it I share 6 principles for creating the mental toughness necessary to achieve your dreams and goals. I hope that you will find the presentation valuable!