I wonder if you have ever found yourself needing to be creative, yet felt a lack of self-confidence in taking risks and trying something outside of your ‘comfort zone’?Many of the coaching clients that I work with struggle with their creative process. Whether they are in business, are an artist, entrepreneur or performer of any type, their ability to remove obstacles to creativity is foundational to moving forward with success.
This video is for anyone who, in any situation that requires creativity, experiences self-doubt and anxiety that leads to feeling stuck and unproductive. Click here to watch.
It has been said that
dependency obliterates individual identity, i.e., the more
dependent you are on what others think of you, the less of an individual
identity you will have. The more you fear being rejected, the less creative and
successful you will be in your business, in any performance situation, as a
creative and in life in general.
Yet, to truly feel
confident and to experience less anxiety in any area of your life, steps must be
taken to move beyond emotional dependence and towards what I call emotional
independence.
Let’s take a look at 5 steps to grow towards healthy emotional independence.
♦ Accept
your Uniqueness
Do not be afraid to
be different! I suspect that you are often afraid to stand out from
others. It feels so much safer to just ‘blend in’ and to not take the risks
that are necessary to move forward in life. “What if no one likes my new art
piece? What if my performance as a musician is not received well? What if my friends
reject me if I have different opinions or beliefs?” This fear-based self-talk can
go on and on until there is no unique YOU left! Yet, to live a life of happiness and to be successful
in any endeavor you approach, It is crucial to discover and
celebrate how unique you are.
Do not be afraid to
be different – accept your uniqueness.
♦ Lose
Your Fear of Perfect People
If you find a perfect
person, please take a photo and send it to me, I would love to meet them!
Perfect people Do… Not… Exist. What exists are false fronts, people who look
perfect, who look like they’ve got it all together. They might be really
eloquent when they talk or are so at ease at a party. At church they appear so spiritual
and seem to really be self-confident. Oh, you wish you could be like that. Look at how creative they are compared to you. You
tell yourself that you are so far below them and that you will never be as good
at this or that. This message that you give yourself gets very, very discouraging.
Part of the journey in becoming emotionally independent is working on changing this
false belief that it is possible to be perfect or to be like
someone else. The fact is, you do not want to be like someone else. You do not want to lose
yourself to something, or someone, that you feel you should become.
It is time to stop
comparing and to lose your fear of perfect people.
Anyone who is in a performance situation and feels pressure can experience stage fright. This can be as a performing artist, business speaker or even having to give an announcement at church.
Stage Fright affects public speakers, creatives, musicians and even
entrepreneurs who use public presentations or video to build their
businesses.
The following is a video that I created that will be a part of a new upcoming Program, The Great Creativity Toolkit, which should be available in a few months. I though it would be valuable to give you a sneak peak at one of my videos that will be included in the Program. I hope that you enjoy it and find it valuable! (Just click on the image belowto begin the video)
As I have been busy working on my newest course, The 8 Principles of Mental Toughness, I thought I would share some thoughts on the foundational principle of expecting excellence in your life.
“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to EXCELLENCE, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” ~ Vince Lombardi
Do
you always expect the best in yourself? Do you act like the person you
want to be? Are you ‘set apart’ in the work that you do, or in the life
that you experience?
Do
you have a passion to: … become more successful as an entrepreneur?
… take your performance or creative life to a new level? … learn to
paint or write?… move forward in your spiritual life? … improve your
golf game? … or create new and more valuable products or services for
your clients?
What is your unique and distinct passion?
The reality is that in any area of your life, your expectations shape reality! We either live UP to or DOWN to our expectations.
In fact, Dr. Don Greene has said,
“What
you “see” in your mind’s eye prior to a performance, (or in what you
are creating in your business or life) throughout the day and over weeks
and months, tends to become who you are.”
What
are you truly passionate about that you are determined to work towards
and that you intend to “see” in your mind’s eye in the weeks ahead?
If
you can’t imagine succeeding in a distinct way that sets you apart,
then you have very little chance of actually doing that, especially
while under self-imposed or external stress or pressure.
Goal-setting expert Paul Meyer once said,
“A burning desire is the greatest motivator of every human action.”
Your
ATTITUDE sets the stage for success in any area of your life. “That’s
good enough” won’t do if you desire to be successful. Do you have the
determination and desire to take the steps necessary to move yourself in
the direction that you desire to go?
Determination
is that inner drive or commitment necessary for business, creative and
performance success. It is the mind-set (the strength and power) of your
intent to make things happen.
A
moment must occur in which you say to yourself, “I am ready to live my
life differently. Right now, I am not sure exactly how I will get there,
but I have decided, and choose to believe, that mediocre is simply not
good enough for me anymore.”
Aiming
for excellence in order to achieve your absolute personal best must be
built upon that passion and desire. Decide today if you are ready to aim
higher!
Expect Excellence and develop a burning desire to achieve it!
“There are risks and costs to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-term risks and costs of comfortable inaction.” – John F. Kennedy
The 2 most dangerous, paralyzing words for performers and creatives (and in almost every aspect of life) are:
“Be careful.”
To
live ‘safely’ is to run your life without spontaneity and creativity.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that the ONLY path to success in
life is giving yourself permission to ‘take chances and risks’.
“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they are 75.” – Ben Franklin
When
asked what they would do differently if they had their life to do over
again, most of fifty adults 95 years and older replied that they would risk more.
How
many times have you wanted to take a risk or meet a challenge in your
business, in a performance situation or in your personal life, but were
too afraid to? The following quote is a guiding principle in the
coaching work I do with my clients.
“Change and growth takes place when a person has risked themselves and dared to experiment with their own life.” – Herbert Otto
In what area of your business or career are you currently afraid to take some risks?
In what performance situation are you afraid to venture out and try something new and unique?
In what areas of your personal life are you afraid to take a chance?
Sam Walton once said,
“Swim
upstream. Ignore the conventional wisdom. If everybody is doing it one
way, there’s a good chance you can find your niche by going in exactly
the opposite direction. But, be prepared for a lot off folks to wave you
down and tell you you’re headed in the wrong direction.”
Discover what your career, business & life would look like if you were not afraid of public speaking.
The ability to present and speak without fear is CRUCIAL to your success in business.
If you get stressed giving a virtual or on-site presentation, experience fear when promoting your services or new product on a Zoom call or Facebook Live, then signing up for this Free Webinar is just what you need!
I
recently came across a wonderful article from the site
powerofpositivity.com that I wanted to share with you. There are many
valuable principles and skills for you within it. (I have also included
links to more tips you can use) I hope that you find it valuable!
Stress
is an inevitable part of life. Your day may be great, and the sun is
shining bright, but the next minute you could have a significant crisis
turn your world upside down. You cannot control the circumstances around
you. Thankfully, you do have the power to control your response to
them.
You’ve
probably heard a million times that stress kills. There have been many
studies done that prove that stress is harmful to your overall
well-being.
Being
in a constant state of distress can affect your well-being. You must
have stress-relieving tools that you use to keep your angst under
control.
When
you become stressed, the cortisol levels in your body elevate. The
negative stimuli activate the “fight or flight” response internally,
which can cause uncomfortable effects. When you are under significant
stress and anxiety, you may experience the following:
•Racing Heartbeat •Sweating •Shaking or Chills •Nervousness •Feeling of Impending Doom or Death •Panic Attacks •Feeling Faint •Irrational Fears •Dizziness
Stress
that is not managed correctly can lead to a stroke, heart disease,
obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, and a plethora of other
conditions. It can negatively impact your life to where you cannot
drive, work a job, or even leave your home. Finding coping skills to
help with stress relief is imperative.
Quick Tips for Stress Relief
In
most cases, you cannot stop your entire day just because you feel
anxiety or stress. However, incorporating calming techniques that can
bring your levels of angst under control is advisable. Here are some of
the most used methods that work well.
