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Category Archives: Creativity
Taking Charge in Times of Change (Part 3)
Change is not an option. Change is an Opportunity.
In this series on dealing with change, I have been sharing with you how it is possible, even during challenging times, to actually thrive rather than just survive.
As I shared in Part 1, there are 3 keys to taking charge of your life during times of change:
The question is: How can you take advantage of this opportunity of change to dramatically move forward in your personal and professional life?
- Adjust Your Personal Vision
- Discover Hope Out of Helplessness
- Turn Powerlessness into Action
In my previous post (Part 2), I discussed that it is possible to discover Hope Out of Helplessness. In my final post in this series I would like to share:
Key #3 – Turn Powerlessness Into Action
Change and uncertainty can lead to feeling powerless, victimized and weak.
In order to take charge of your life, even during challenging days, it is crucial to turn our sense of feeling powerless and out of control into Action. Here are 3 key steps to take back your life during tough times:
Taking Charge in Times of Change (Part 1)
Change is not an option. Change is an Opportunity.
Change can happen slowly over time, and sometimes in what feels like a blink of an eye.
Think about changes in technology.
In 1943, the Chairman of IBM said, “I think that there is a world market for maybe 5 computers.”
In 1949, Popular Mechanics announced to a stunned readership that, “Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons!”
In 1977, the founder of Digital Equipment Corporation said, “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”
Then there are cultural changes as reflected in a Good Housekeeping magazine article in 1955 titled “The Good Wife’s Guide” that included such advice as, “Be a little more interesting for him…Be happy to see him…Make the evening his…Don’t greet him with complaints…A good wife always know her place.”
Ladies, please don’t kill me, I am only sharing an old article, not recommending it!
Yes, change has been, and will always be, happening.
My favorite story regarding how becoming older creates new challenges is the following,
A senior citizen is driving down the freeway, and his cell phone rings. He answers it and hears his wife’s voice urgently warn him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the 57. Please be careful!”
Herman responds, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
Yes, humor is crucial during challenging times of change.
Yet, how is it possible, in times such as we are seeing all around us, that we can actually thrive rather than just survive? How can we take advantage of this opportunity of change to dramatically move forward in our personal and professional lives?
There are 3 keys to taking charge of your life during times of change.
- Adjust Your Personal Vision
- Discover Hope Out of helplessness
- Turn Powerlessness into Action
In this post I would like to share Key #1:
- Adjust Your Personal Vision
Our Vision is the manner in which we see, imagine or dream of something, your unique picture of your personal future.
Then change happens.
During change we must adjust the way in which we see our future to fit the new situation/condition by letting go to move forward.
It is so easy to want to focus on and cling to what has always been and felt comfortable, i.e., the way it used to be.
Yet, to move forward we must accept the reality of change/loss, allow ourselves to experience feelings of sadness, frustration or even pain, and then commit to moving forward, learning new skills, adapting to new situations and managing stress and overload.
Ask yourself, “Where am I going” “What is Important to Me?” “What are my Priorities”
Deep down, in your heart of hearts, what do you want? In your personal life, your health, in your career, and in the life of others.
In times of uncertainty and change, where are you headed, what is your dream?
“All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.” ~ Orison Swett Marden
Change is not an option, but an opportunity to adjust the direction of your life and career.
I look forward to sharing Key #2 in my next Post. In the meantime, in what ways are you intending to adjust your own personal vision this week?
Have an Active Orientation to Life!
A theme that continually comes up in my coaching sessions with those who desire to move forward in their life, whether in dealing with a stressful performance situation, or in life experiences in general, is the hesitation to go after what they truly desire.
It is the difference between passively allowing fear and anticipation to guide your decision-making rather than having an active orientation to life.
In your art, in a performance situation or in significant relationships, are you a person who goes after what they want?
Do you say to the world, “This is what I want. I’m going to go for it.”
Children, before they ‘learn’ to be afraid or avoid anxiety-producing situations, will bounce back whenever they hit a wall or roadblock because that is what little kids do – until we teach them not to do it, until we knock that fearless perseverance out of them.
They just go for it.
Are You Lying to Yourself?
There are few phrases that I hear in my practice as a Performance Coach that are as deadly as, “That’s just the way I am.”
Deadly as in creating a wall, or roadblock, to achieving the goals that are the most meaningful to you. It is a phrase that so many of my clients have tolerated in their life and which, if not challenged and overcome, becomes a belief as true in their thinking as the sun will surely go down tonight. If I have always believed it, then it must be true about myself.
Those who have experienced my style of coaching understand that when I hear such a phrase, I immediately challenge it – as those words cannot be allowed to linger for a moment in your thinking without more damage being caused.
This damage can be in the form of holding back when given an opportunity to move forward in your career (“Well, I would love to be considered for a promotion, yet if it involves giving more presentations, then I will have to decline because…That’s just the way I am, I cannot speak in front of an audience without anxiety”).
“I would love to start my own business, or create a new piece of unique art, or start the book I have always dreamed about but unfortunately I cannot, as I have never felt much confidence in my abilities, because that’s just the way I am.”
Do you avoid or say no or disregard an opportunity to take risks because you have always believed that you are not enough, that it is just the way that you are?
The Anxiety-Prone Personality
If you struggle with anxiety, or find dealing with pressure or stress challenging, then you likely possess most, if not all, of the following personality traits. Awareness of the areas in yourself that contribute to experiencing a life of anxiety is the first step to overcoming such a challenge. Do any of the following personality characteristics sound like you?
- You Ignore the Stress Signals Your Body is Sending
Are you someone who doesn’t listen to their body, who pushes themselves without listening for those early warning signals of stress? Do you say to yourself, “Well, I can do one more thing … Even though it’s late and I’m tired, I’ll check just a few more emails tonight … I can’t stand seeing those dishes sitting there, I better clean those.” It’s time to start listening to the stress signals that your body is sending you.
- You Live by Many Rules and ‘Shoulds’
Do you have a lot of rules and ‘shoulds’ in your thinking? Perhaps you came from a family in which there were a lot of rules and now you find yourself saying, “Oh, I should have done that better”… “I shouldn’t have laid down and taken that nap” … “I should do some work on Saturday morning even though I’m wiped out.” It’s time to stop beating yourself up with the ‘shoulds.’
- Control Is VERY Important to You
Do you have a need to be in control and for things to be in their place? It’s time to ‘let go’ and take charge of yourself, not the things, or people, around you.
- You are Competent and Have High Expectations of Self
You are probably known as a very competent, dependable and loyal person. You most likely have high, and probably unrealistic, expectations of yourself. It is when you fall short of those high expectations that you feel guilty, discouraged and end up feeling like a failure, a sort of daily reminder that you’re not good enough. It’s time to give yourself permission to not be perfect and to believe you are enough no matter what you accomplish.
- You Love Calmness
One of the genetic per-dispositions of severe anxiety is a heightened physical sensitivity to stimuli. As an infant you were more than likely highly sensitive to noise, lights, temperature and all types of stimuli and now, as an adult, it is very important to you for things to be calm. It’s time to create less stress in your life and be ok with not liking large crowds, pressure or feeling like you should be more of an extrovert.
- Your Motto is: “I can handle it”
Do you have an “I can handle it” attitude? You may rarely ask for help or delegate things to others. You try to do everything yourself. Instead of saying “No, I can’t do that,” you say “Sure I can do it.” It’s time to ask for help and not try to do everything yourself.
- You Have ‘Black and White’ Thinking
Do you see things as total, all or nothing, black or white? Have you developed a way of thinking that has you living a life with very little emotional freedom? Do you allow yourself to take risks, to be spontaneous and take chances? Black and white thinking is ‘safe’ and obliterates creativity and uniqueness. It’s time to color outside of the lines, to break out of the emotional prison of safety that comes with black and white thinking.
- You Have a Great Fear Rejection
A greater than normal fear of rejection is a bottom-line issue for those who struggle with anxiety, causing you to not take risks or assert yourself. When you are stressed out, your feelings get stuffed inside, and you become afraid of how you might look to others. It’s time to build a foundation of self-worth where you stop caring so much of what others think, and take more chances in your personal and creative life.
The good news is that even though you may have developed many of the above characteristics and ways of thinking, you are not stuck with these! You CAN change. Seek out the resources and guidance necessary to take charge of each of these 8 areas. Quiet the voice within in you that says, “Well, that’s just the way I am” and become intentionally driven to break out of your personal emotional prison.
For a No-Charge consultation with Dr. Lazaris to discover how Anxiety Coaching can help you become free of your personal fears, click here to get more information.
Also, you might want to learn more about overcoming anxiety by checking out Dr. Lazaris’ book, From Panic to Peace. Click Here to learn more.
Are You a Risk-Taking, Outrageous Creative?
“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.“
~ Jim Rohn
Throughout my 40 years of working with entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, writers, executives and performance artists, I have never had anyone tell me,
“Please help me to become a mediocre performer.”
“I’ve noticed that I am becoming WAY too creative in my art, I need to slow it down a bit.”
“Can you teach me some ways to stay anxious as a writer?”
“You know Dr. Nick, my business is going too well. Can you help me become a little less effective with the clients that I work with?”
Not once has anyone asked to be helped to stay on the path to mediocrity. Yet, so often our creative lives are defined in terms of safety, lack of risk-taking and just “getting through” comfortably.
An outrageous and creative life doesn’t settle. It doesn’t put up with things being just ‘okay’.
“Change and growth takes place when a person has
risked themselves and dares to experiment with their own life.”
~ Philosopher Herbert Otto
Outrageous living is not comfortable. It is not ‘safe’. It does not look around to see if others are approving or if they are pleased by our behavior. An outrageously creative life is extraordinary, unconventional and bold.
At times, our ideas for our work will seem unthinkable and will exceed the limits of what others see as usual and ‘normal’ behavior. Outrageous means we are exceeding the bounds of what may seem reasonable or expected by those living a life of safety or of pleasing others.
Outrageous creativity is BOLD – we are not afraid to stand out. We are fearless, self-assured and confident.
“If things seem under control, you are just not going fast enough.” — Mario Andretti
Outrageous creativity contains a daring spirit, is adventurous and ultimately is free. A person committed to outrageous living makes bold choices, thinks big, refuses to be confined out of fear and is free of judgment and a myriad of ‘the shoulds’.
Helen Keller described just this kind of outrageous living when she said,
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change
and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeated.”
Are you beginning to see the picture of what outrageous creativity looks like? I believe that, in fact, it is the picture of what you looked like as a creative child before you began to be afraid, before you gave up a life of outrageous risk-taking in order to please those around you and gain their approval. It has been said that,
“People do not know how to be outrageous anymore.”
While vacationing at the beach several years ago, I noticed a little girl, no more than 3 years old, standing near the water line on the beach. She stood there watching the water come in and then, as it headed back out, she would let out a bloodcurdling scream and run towards the retreating water. As soon as her feet hit the cold water as it came back towards her, she would let out another scream and run back towards the sand. Yet, accompanying her scream was a HUGE smile on her face! She was bold and going for it – even while it was scaring her to death! Up and down, over and over she would run to the water, scream and run away laughing hysterically every single time!
No one had yet taught her to play it safe, to not take a chance, to sit and watch the other kids have fun. She was determined to live outrageously – bold and willing to risk it all.
When was it that you stopped running towards the creative thing that scared you? When did you give up going for what seemed impossible? Where did your boldness go?
Outrageous creativity includes bloodcurdling screams while going for your dreams with a huge smile on your face.
If your fear of public speaking has held you back in achieving the things that matter to you, then you might be interested in learning about my new online, home study course, The Fearless Speaker Mastery Program. Also, my book, The Fearless Business Speaker is now available.
I hope that you are doing well as we go through this time of challenge together. It has been so amazing to watch those in my community, from places all around the world, share with me stories of struggle as well as amazing victories and breakthroughs.
As I have shared in a past post, there is so much power, especially during times such as this, in practicing intentional Focused Breathing. In all of my work with those who struggle with anxiety or stressful situations, I have found this exercise, when applied and practiced, incredibly effective in inducing a relaxed state in your mind and body.
In fact, research has proven that your heart rate, blood pressure, and even body temperature can be affected by how you breathe! This is certainly valuable while our minds race ahead and question what is to come and when life will get back to ‘normal.’
I have provided an audio of the Focused Breathing exercise that I use in some of my Courses and Coaching work and know that if you practice it throughout your day, it will benefit you like it has for so many that I have worked with.
There are no excuses for not taking advantage of this skill, as you are already breathing, it is free and only takes a couple of minutes to practice! I look forward to hearing how you have used the exercise.
Click on the image above, sit back and get ready for a deep feeling of relaxation!