Is it Time to Change Your Story?

Knowing what you want goes hand in hand with knowing who you are. In fact, it is impossible to become an outrageous achiever in any area unless you possess an effective and powerful answer to both questions.


In a recent blog post I discussed the importance of discovering what you really desire in your life and then committing to a specific plan of action to get you there.

What could possibly stand in your way?

Well, look in the mirror and you will see your biggest enemy staring right back at you, telling you their story about why life is so tough, or how they have always failed, or how they are just not enough to become more successful.

The story you hear implies that maybe you don’t have what it takes to achieve your dreams.

On and on the story goes. A story many years in the making!

I can hear it now,

“Ladies and gentleman, here is the Story of a person who desired to become successful, who yearned and dreamed of accomplishing amazing things! Yet, a sad Story of never having enough money, or ideas or opportunities, of someone raised by critical parents and who lacked the confidence to overcome obstacles.”

Does this sound at all like your Story?

You see, we all have a story that we tell ourselves about who we are. It isn’t “if” we have a story, but whether we allow our Story to define us – to create a small world of mediocrity and safety. The saddest part of the story, however, is that we allow it to limit who we could be. “That’s just who I am” becomes “What else can I expect out of myself?”

It feels final. There is no movement, no room to grow, change or create.

It is a guarantee of a mediocre life – of not creating the unique music, art, writing or business that resides within your authentic self.

Becoming bold and outrageous in our pursuit of amazing things is built upon changing our Story, of not tolerating the narrative we have heard inside our head since childhood.

So, I ask you, “What is your Story?”

What have you mentally ‘written’ about yourself that you project to the world? If your Story was a screenplay, would it inspire others to incredible heights or invoke feelings of pity towards the main character (you)?

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~ C.G. Jung
The good news is that our Story is not a ‘thing’ or a static description of permanence. It is alive and is either holding you back or pushing you forward.

Your Story can create energy and purpose or it can seek the comfort of what is already known. It can stifle the wide-eyed wonderment of a child whose early Story was told in one sentence, “I am somebody who goes for it.”

As Pete Townsend of the rock group The Who screams, “Who are you? Who? Who? Who? Who?

Yes, you CAN rewrite it. It is time to toss out that sad, inhibiting, creativity choking Story that you have clung to for most of your life.

I encourage you to begin rewriting your Story.


Question: What have you been telling yourself, within your personal Story, that has kept you from creating amazing things? What would your pursuits look like if your Story began to change? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a Comment by clicking the Comment box above.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Angie McLane Crossin

    Dr. Lazarus — your article resonated to the core. Fortunately, I have started moving in that direction and will be enrolled as a PsyD student at Cal Southern in January. I am still clawing through the jungle trying to figure out what I want this new reality to look like; however, I thank you for indirectly giving me that extra “that a girl” to propel me toward becoming who I truly am. Thank you!

    • Angie McLane Crossin

      Dr. Lazaris — my apology for the typo.

      • nlazaris

        No apology needed.

  • Phila72

    Thanks Dr Lazaris for the article, I truly agree that it all starts with an identity we want to create for ourselves. It is quite hard to be who you are if you grew up from a very strict Asian roots, some parents still tell us what to do even when we are in our 30s. But thankfully I’ve outgrown that stage long time ago. Since then my philosophy is always, whatever values that is good and applicable to my current context, use it, and whatever that it doesn’t seems right, unlearn it. I guess that’s how I am writing and rewriting my stories. :).. Thank you!