Virtual Reality, the Amygdala and Anxiety (Part 1)

Have you ever found yourself afraid to try something new, to step out in front of a crowd, or to risk going into the unknown? I am sure that you remember the anxiety that developed and the steps you took to avoid feeling scared?

Well, I recently was scared, and it didn’t make any rational sense whatsoever.

A few nights ago, my son and his wife stayed over in our home. It is always such a pleasure to have them visit. This time, in addition to coming over, he brought his new “toy”, an Oculus Virtual Reality Headset.

This VR Headset is advertised with these words, “Stop watching games and step into them. Whether you’re dodging obstacles or slashing through enemy hordes, you’ve never been this close to the action.”

Boy, were they right.

As someone who prides himself on being in control and providing Anxiety Coaching to others so that they can learn not to allow fear to make their choices, I decided that I would go for it. “Give me a scary one” I said – and my son obliged.

On went the headset.

Immediately, I was transported to a world where I could look all around me at amazing sights and sounds. This is fun I thought, all the while remembering I was in our living room and really not in a cartoon-like city of trees and birds chirping away.

It was fun until…

He told me to press a button on my hand grip. I did, because I remembered that no matter what I saw, I KNEW it was not real and, thus, could not shake or hurt me.

I switched the scene and found myself inside of a very real looking elevator. No problem, I’ve got this I thought.

And then, the elevator doors opened.

Persistence, Perseverance & the Pandemic

If there EVER was a time that the principles of Persistence and Perseverance were needed, it is during the current Pandemic. Regardless of your personal thoughts on what in the world is actually going on, we are all in this together.

I have heard what we are going through called ‘the New Normal,’ ‘the Now Normal’ and the ‘Will we ever be Normal?

So many that I talk to in my coaching practice feel stuck and describe being ‘on hold,’ waiting for things to return to how it was. Yet, while many are watching and waiting, others are taking charge of their lives, businesses and creativity.

I wonder if this sounds like you?

Maybe you find yourself saying, “If only I was back at my office” or “If only the kids were back on campus” or even “If only I didn’t feel as though my life is dependent on things out of my control.”

So, we sit and wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

Waiting for the right time, for more strength or to feel fully motivated to move forward with our dreams and goals.

It has been said that the difference between a truly successful (and productive) person and others is not a lack of strength, nor a lack of knowledge, but, rather, a lack of will.

I wonder, do you persevere when times get challenging?

Perseverance and persistence involve making a commitment to your dream or goal, not on a one-time basis, but daily, hourly and continually. It does not wait until everything is right, or ‘normal’ or back on track. It takes charge of whatever is under your control at the moment.

Right now. Not later.

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence… Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge

I have learned, in my 40 years of coaching successful business persons, performers and high achievers, that there are 3 main obstacles to perseverance when times are challenging:

Is it Time to Take Your Life Back?

Does it ever feel as though you are giving away little pieces of your life?

Maybe, without even realizing it, you have let fear, convenience, or a focus on another person’s opinion chip away, little by little, your self-confidence and belief in what you are capable of.

At first, maybe you simply said “Yes” to a request that, deep down, you knew wasn’t what you wanted, yet you rationalized to yourself, “Oh, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Or, when you came up with a great idea to push your business or life forward, you ended up anxiously listening to your inner voice that quietly said, “This really isn’t a good time, maybe I will try in the future.”

What about that time when you said “No” to an opportunity that was outside of your comfort zone, yet deep down you KNEW it would have benefited you?

Putting yourself, your ideas or your desires in front of the crowd can feel so scary, yet it is always during such times that opportunities can lead to the successes that can propel you to greater things.

Whether the opportunity is to create a webinar for your online audience that will introduce them to an amazing service or product that you offer, or assertively say “No” to something, or someone, that you know is not best for you, or create that book or piece of art that has been yearning to come out, becoming aware of and then changing your fear-based decisions, is crucial.

A piece of wood, when slowly chipped and whittled away, becomes weak and eventually breaks. It is no different in your own life when, over time, you give away pieces of who you are and what you desire.

Have you allowed that negative inner voice to trick you into not taking the risks and chances that have the potential to move you forward?

Are you dangerously close to ‘breaking’ and giving up your dreams and goals?

Today, I encourage you to consider in what areas of your business, creativie life or relationships that you may be giving yourself away.

Do not allow another day to go by without intentionally deciding to stop giving power away. Little by little, decision by decision, you will become stronger, more confident and, most importantly, in charge of yourself.

It is time to take your life back.

The Pictures That Hang in the Rooms of Your Mind (Part 3)

In this 3-part series, I have been sharing ideas on how you might begin to ‘refurnish’ the rooms in your mind with newer, more healthy pictures in order to remove the fear-inducing messages that have created roadblocks to the life you desire.

In Part 1, I presented the crucial importance of Awareness, becoming aware of the actual thoughts in your mind that you have simply accepted all your life as something that you must live with. The need to clearly notice what the negative pictures are that you ’see’ in your mind’s eye every day is the foundational step to refurnishing your thinking.

In Part 2, I discussed the idea of Acceptance, the 2nd step in refurnishing your mind. After you become aware of how the old furnishings block you from achieving your current goals and dreams, it is then time to begin accepting and working towards letting go of the old pictures and distortions that have held you back.

The final step in your refurnishing plan is to begin to take Action – to replace the negative pictures with ones that are affirming and that lead to positive results rather than simply living life in fear and safety.

Here are 5 Key Steps that are required for you to move forward with a new, positive and more effective way of thinking:

1. Decide What Really Matters to You – What do you want? Do the pictures in your mind reflect this or do you need to replace them with clear and specific pictures of what you really want in life?

2. Adjust Your Expectations. It has been. Said that your expectations shape your reality! You either live Up to or Down to your expectations, so the new pictures that you hang in your mind must reflect thinking that expects great things, that is focused on a life, business or career that you intend to be successful.

What you ‘see’ in your mind’s eye (in the pictures in the rooms of your mind),throughout the day and over weeks and months, tends to become who you are”. ~ Dr. Don Greene

3. Listen to Your Self-Talk. Is it positive or negative? Begin to see yourself as full of potential, as someone who, in spite of the old pictures and memories, is capable of amazing things.

4. Focus on Action. Take charge. Be willing to assert yourself. Take risks. Stop blaming the old pictures of events or persons if things don’t go the way you desire. Decide to make things happen by utilizing the power of CHOICE with 2 very powerful words: “I choose” vs. “That just the way I am.

“The greatest single characteristic of those who achieve their goals is the simple ‘belief that you can do it’.” ~ Dr. Charles Garfield

5. Be Patient with the Process. Renewing your mind and refurnishing rooms that have been filled with outdated and distorted thinking takes time. Intentionally make daily commitments to decide what it is that you want and then take specific and clear steps to achieve your goals.

The process of letting go of and replacing the pictures in the rooms of your mind is possible and will lead to dramatic changes as you follow through with your remodeling plan.

As I shared earlier, hire a new room decorator if needed (a Mentor, Coach or Therapist) or commit to readings and courses that are geared towards a complete re-conditioning of your thinking.

Begin to take charge of your life today by hanging up new pictures that express an attitude and belief that says, “I no longer tolerate anything (or any mental picture) that holds me back.”

The Pictures That Hang in the Rooms of Your Mind (Part 2)

It’s time to begin refurnishing the rooms in your mind. Yes, you heard me correctly. It is possible, even after years and years of those rooms being cluttered with lies, distortions and anxiety-based fears, that you can decide to clear the rooms out and replace them with new furnishings and décor.

As I shared in my last Post, Part 1, the various rooms in your mind contain pictures that hang on the walls, pictures that you have hung that make significant statements, both positive and negative, and provide the memories that you have attached to each of them.

Unfortunately, many believe that they are ‘stuck’ with whatever the rooms are filled with, including old pictures of painful memories, or even newer ones that are hung to remind you not to venture out in life, or take new risks or develop new skills.

Some synonyms for refurnish are: remodel; recondition; refresh; renew; restore. Each of these words is based upon the activity of letting go of the old and replacing with new pictures that are more reflective of who you really are today.

The truth is that many, if not most, of the pictures that hang in the rooms in your mind were created and based upon lies about yourself that were either told to you by others or told to yourself during times of fear or anxiety.

Unless these old pictures are replaced through a ‘remodeling’ of your thinking, then the power of the old pictures, or thoughts, will continue to direct your life.

So, where do you begin with the process of refurnishing your mind?

Here are the first 2 steps in renewing and restoring your thinking:

5 Quick and Easy Tension Relievers

During this time of stress, anxiety and change, tension blocks our ability to stay present and be effective in our everyday tasks, relationships and performance. Much of this tension accumulates in our shoulders, neck and upper body.

The following simple exercises, from my book Stress, Resiliency and Taking Charge of Your Life, are designed to be able to help you release tension quickly and efficiently.

Tension blocks your power to perform. Much of this tension accumulates in your shoulders, neck and upper body. The following simple exercises are designed to be able to help you release tension quickly and efficiently.

“Reduce Stress Through Focused Breathing”

I hope that you are doing well as we go through this time of challenge together. It has been so amazing to watch those in my community, from places all around the world, share with me stories of struggle as well as amazing victories and breakthroughs.

As I have shared in a past post, there is so much power, especially during times such as this, in practicing intentional Focused Breathing. In all of my work with those who struggle with anxiety or stressful situations, I have found this exercise, when applied and practiced, incredibly effective in inducing a relaxed state in your mind and body.

In fact, research has proven that your heart rate, blood pressure, and even body temperature can be affected by how you breathe! This is certainly valuable while our minds race ahead and question what is to come and when life will get back to ‘normal.’

I have provided an audio of the Focused Breathing exercise that I use in some of my Courses and Coaching work and know that if you practice it throughout your day, it will benefit you like it has for so many that I have worked with.

There are no excuses for not taking advantage of this skill, as you are already breathing, it is free and only takes a couple of minutes to practice! I look forward to hearing how you have used the exercise.

Click on the image above, sit back and get ready for a deep feeling of relaxation!