… Please others because you are afraid of offending them?
… Have trouble saying ‘No’?
… Allow others to manipulate you into situations that you don’t want?
… Always put others first?
… Have trouble standing up for yourself?
… Avoid social situations because you get too anxious?
… Feel taken advantage of?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to any of the above questions, then this post is for you!
I have discovered that most people fall into one of three communication styles:
Aggressive – controls others (“I know what is best”)
Passive – allows others to control them (“I don’t want to rock the boat”)
Assertive – controls self (“My goal is to be heard and take charge of my life”)
An assertive style of living and communicating means taking control of who you are and what matters to you most – it is not “Looking Out for #1” or “I’m OK, You’re a Turkey.”
Ironically, the more clear and direct we are about what matters to us, the better chance we have of experiencing self-confidence and achieving our goals. In fact, assertiveness is best defined as:
“Direct, open and honest communication where you experience self-respect while respecting others.”
So, let’s take a look at 5 tips for becoming an assertive communicator.
DECIDE WHAT REALLY MATTERS TO YOU
STOP TOLERATING OBSTACLES TO YOUR GOALS
ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT
SET PERSONAL BOUNDARIES
HAVE AN ACTIVE ORIENTATION TO LIFE!
Ultimately, these 5 tips are summarized by a sign in my office that reads, “If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.” Commit to taking risks, see yourself as valuable and never, ever settle for less than what you are worth!
Question: What style of communicating do you fit in? “Which ‘Tip’ would take you towards becoming more assertive? You can leave a comment by clicking the Comments box above.