Category Archives: Performing

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The Power of Purpose & Determination

As I have been busy working on my newest course, The 8 Principles of Mental Toughness, I thought I would share some thoughts on the foundational principle of expecting excellence in your life.

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to EXCELLENCE, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”
~ Vince Lombardi

Do you always expect the best in yourself? Do you act like the person you want to be? Are you ‘set apart’ in the work that you do, or in the life that you experience?

Do you have a passion to: … become more successful as an entrepreneur? … take your performance or creative life to a new level? … learn to paint or write?… move forward in your spiritual life? … improve your golf game? … or create new and more valuable products or services for your clients?

What is your unique and distinct passion?

The reality is that in any area of your life, your expectations shape reality! We either live UP to or DOWN to our expectations.

In fact, Dr. Don Greene has said,

“What you “see” in your mind’s eye prior to a performance, (or in what you are creating in your business or life) throughout the day and over weeks and months, tends to become who you are.”

What are you truly passionate about that you are determined to work towards and that you intend to “see” in your mind’s eye in the weeks ahead?

If you can’t imagine succeeding in a distinct way that sets you apart, then you have very little chance of actually doing that, especially while under self-imposed or external stress or pressure.

Goal-setting expert Paul Meyer once said,

“A burning desire is the greatest motivator of every human action.”

Your ATTITUDE sets the stage for success in any area of your life. “That’s good enough” won’t do if you desire to be successful. Do you have the determination and desire to take the steps necessary to move yourself in the direction that you desire to go?

Determination is that inner drive or commitment necessary for business, creative and performance success. It is the mind-set (the strength and power) of your intent to make things happen.

A moment must occur in which you say to yourself, “I am ready to live my life differently. Right now, I am not sure exactly how I will get there, but I have decided, and choose to believe, that mediocre is simply not good enough for me anymore.”

Aiming for excellence in order to achieve your absolute personal best must be built upon that passion and desire. Decide today if you are ready to aim higher!

Expect Excellence and develop a burning desire to achieve it!

“Reduce Stress Through Focused Breathing”

I hope that you are doing well as we go through this time of challenge together. It has been so amazing to watch those in my community, from places all around the world, share with me stories of struggle as well as amazing victories and breakthroughs.

As I have shared in a past post, there is so much power, especially during times such as this, in practicing intentional Focused Breathing. In all of my work with those who struggle with anxiety or stressful situations, I have found this exercise, when applied and practiced, incredibly effective in inducing a relaxed state in your mind and body.

In fact, research has proven that your heart rate, blood pressure, and even body temperature can be affected by how you breathe! This is certainly valuable while our minds race ahead and question what is to come and when life will get back to ‘normal.’

I have provided an audio of the Focused Breathing exercise that I use in some of my Courses and Coaching work and know that if you practice it throughout your day, it will benefit you like it has for so many that I have worked with.

There are no excuses for not taking advantage of this skill, as you are already breathing, it is free and only takes a couple of minutes to practice! I look forward to hearing how you have used the exercise.

Click on the image above, sit back and get ready for a deep feeling of relaxation!

 

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Creating a Positive Focus for Success – 5 Essential Questions

As I look back on the clients that I have coached over the past years, I often wonder what the core characteristics are of those who have achieved success in their personal and professional life. There seems to be a common mindset and approach to life that is foundational to their achievement of the things that matter to them.

Let’s take a look at 5 essential questions to ask yourself in order to create the type of focus needed for achieving what you desire in life.

1) “Do I have a laser-focused desire to succeed?”

This question has to do with having the passion and desire that is necessary to succeed: Do you have a passion to:

~ Develop more self-confidence?
~ Become a better public speaker?
~ Identify and overcome any fears that hold you back?
~ Develop a new product or service in your business?
~ Build better personal relationships?
~ Write an article or book?

What would it take to create this kind of laser-focus in order to achieve your dreams? Seeking out a course or a Coach/Mentor can become an important part of achieving the type of passion I am describing. Take charge by seeking out guidance.

2) “Do I expect excellence out of myself?”

~ Do you expect GREAT things in your business and personal life?

~ Do you act like the person that you want to be?

~ Does your commitment to excellence show itself in ALL aspects of your life (health, spiritual, business, family)?”

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Are You a Risk-Taking, Outrageous Creative?

“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.“

~ Jim Rohn

Throughout my 40 years of working with entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, writers, executives and performance artists, I have never had anyone tell me,

“Please help me to become a mediocre performer.”

“I’ve noticed that I am becoming WAY too creative in my art, I need to slow it down a bit.”

“Can you teach me some ways to stay anxious as a writer?”

“You know Dr. Nick, my business is going too well. Can you help me become a little less effective with the clients that I work with?”

Not once has anyone asked to be helped to stay on the path to mediocrity. Yet, so often our creative lives are defined in terms of safety, lack of risk-taking and just “getting through” comfortably.

An outrageous and creative life doesn’t settle. It doesn’t put up with things being just ‘okay’.

“Change and growth takes place when a person has
risked themselves and dares to experiment with their own life.”
~ Philosopher Herbert Otto

Outrageous living is not comfortable. It is not ‘safe’. It does not look around to see if others are approving or if they are pleased by our behavior. An outrageously creative life is extraordinary, unconventional and bold.

At times, our ideas for our work will seem unthinkable and will exceed the limits of what others see as usual and ‘normal’ behavior. Outrageous means we are exceeding the bounds of what may seem reasonable or expected by those living a life of safety or of pleasing others.

Outrageous creativity is BOLD – we are not afraid to stand out. We are fearless, self-assured and confident.

“If things seem under control, you are just not going fast enough.” — Mario Andretti

Outrageous creativity contains a daring spirit, is adventurous and ultimately is free. A person committed to outrageous living makes bold choices, thinks big, refuses to be confined out of fear and is free of judgment and a myriad of ‘the shoulds’.

Helen Keller described just this kind of outrageous living when she said,

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change
and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeated.”

Are you beginning to see the picture of what outrageous creativity looks like? I believe that, in fact, it is the picture of what you looked like as a creative child before you began to be afraid, before you gave up a life of outrageous risk-taking in order to please those around you and gain their approval. It has been said that,

“People do not know how to be outrageous anymore.”

While vacationing at the beach several years ago, I noticed a little girl, no more than 3 years old, standing near the water line on the beach. She stood there watching the water come in and then, as it headed back out, she would let out a bloodcurdling scream and run towards the retreating water. As soon as her feet hit the cold water as it came back towards her, she would let out another scream and run back towards the sand. Yet, accompanying her scream was a HUGE smile on her face! She was bold and going for it – even while it was scaring her to death! Up and down, over and over she would run to the water, scream and run away laughing hysterically every single time!

No one had yet taught her to play it safe, to not take a chance, to sit and watch the other kids have fun. She was determined to live outrageously – bold and willing to risk it all.

When was it that you stopped running towards the creative thing that scared you? When did you give up going for what seemed impossible? Where did your boldness go?

Outrageous creativity includes bloodcurdling screams while going for your dreams with a huge smile on your face.

If your fear of public speaking has held you back in achieving the things that matter to you, then you might be interested in learning about my new online, home study course, The Fearless Speaker Mastery Program. Also, my book, The Fearless Business Speaker is now available.

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Mental Toughness for Outrageous Achievement

 

As a contributing author to the amazing online magazine, 21st Century Drummer, here is my recent article “Mental Toughness for Outrageous Achievement (page 66).”

Click on the image above to access the magazine and article.

It contains valuable principles to take your performance (and life) to the next level. I that hope you enjoy it!

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My Takeaways from Tribe Conference 2018

 

I recently returned from what I have to call the most amazing Conference, and community of people, that I have attended in my 38 years as a Performance Psychologist.

‘Amazing’ is a pretty worn out word these days that has lost its meaning due to overuse. Yet, the Tribe Conference, as Webster states in his dictionary, caused “astonishment, great wonder and surprise.”

Yes, it was that good.

For 3 days in Franklin, Tennessee, I sat in a room of 250 people, all of whom desired only one specific thing: to make a difference in the lives of others through their creativity, whether it be through visual or performing arts, speaking or writing. (A special thanks to the creator and organizer of Tribe, New York Times best selling author Jeff Goins)

In my last 2 Posts I have been sharing about how certain words can kill our creativity. In this Post, I would like to share some of the words that I heard from speakers at the Tribe Conference that focused on how we can take our gifts into the world for the purpose of changing lives for the better.

Not words that kill, but words that give us permission to do our best work.

If you have ever attended a conference in the past, you more than likely came home with a notebook full of scribbled down ideas, most of which got put on a shelf, never to be referred to again. I decided to go through my own notes from the conference and share some of my key takeaways.

Takeaway #1: “Fear comes alongside doing something new”

Tim Grahl, author of Running Down A Dream: Your Road Map to Winning Creative Battles, gave a powerful presentation about the role fear plays in our artistic lives. He encouraged us to push outside of our self-imposed boundaries of safety.

Identify what fears are paralyzing and keeping you from letting your creativity be fully expressed. Fear, Tim said, “is a sign that we are doing something right.”

Take risks in your creative work.

Takeaway #2: You cannot stand out and fit in at the same time

Chase Jarvis reinforced this idea of trying to be accepted by fitting in with others (a theme throughout the Conference), of being so concerned what others think that we “settle into the narcotic of external validation” (Todd Henry).

Paul Angone talked about OCD – Obsessive Comparison Disorder, that of putting our focus on what others think of us.

“What is something you would love to do, that you are not doing because

you are afraid you’re going to do it wrong, or it won’t be good enough?” (Melissa Dinwiddie)

Takeaway #3: “Die Empty”

Todd Henry shared these words as he encouraged each of us to not take our best work to the grave. In other words, he encouraged us to stop procrastinating and searching for perfection.

Do your work now and stop putting off creating so that you can, as Todd shared,

“Make something that you love for someone who will love it.”

Speaker Ali Worthington, author of Fierce Faith and The Year of Living Happy summed up what the Conference as a whole was encouraging us as creatives to do:

~ Show Up (Do the work)

~ Be Real (Take a risk and be your authentic self)

~ Love Others (Do not hold back your gifts from the world)

~ Don’t quit (Persevere and push forward no matter what the obstacle)

 

Now, go out and make amazing work that will cause “astonishment, great wonder and surprise” in the community that you serve!

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Words That Kill Creativity (Part 2)

“When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them.” ~ Evelyn Waugh

As I shared in Part 1 of this discussion, the words that we tell ourselves can be so powerful and destructive that they can kill off our creativity and the child-like joy of doing our creative work until it becomes a chore and sometimes even a nightmare. Yes, words can kill and rob us of our chance to give our absolute personal best to a world in need of what we have to offer.

In addition to the 5 killer words I have previously shared with you, I’d like to present 6 more words that have the potential to kill off who you are as a creative, whether in your art, writing or performing.

6. “It’s hard”

Nothing will kill off accomplishment and productivity as will a belief that something is too hard or that we aren’t quite ready for such a big dream or goal. So, we destroy the child-like, wide-eyed vision of what could be and replace it with a scaled down version of our dream.

7. “Yes, but…”

Another sneaky killer here. It appears at first as if you are agreeing to go for it, then out of nowhere comes that little “but” to minimize and scale back the possibilities of what you might create.

8. “I should”

Never has there been such an oppressive and murderous word such as ‘should’. Inherent within it is the message that we are small and unable to decide for our self what is best and will serve us – ‘shoulds’ always come from external sources and soon take residence in our head.

9. “Tomorrow, Tomorrow…

…I love ya, tomorrow, you’re always a day away.”

Apparently, Annie was also lied to as she sang how she should wait till tomorrow because it must be better than today. Studies have revealed that many, at the end of their life, regret waiting for ‘tomorrow’ and realize, much too late, that they had allowed their entire life to be emotionally killed off by waiting for just the right time, the right person or for someone to give them permission.

10. “If only”

This is the first cousin to “what if” – Rather than looking ahead in anxious anticipation, we kill the present moment and opportunity by looking back in regret. Precious energy is spent looking back, not to learn and move forward, but in feeling sad at what might have been. “If only I had …”

11. “Survive”

Disco queen Gloria Gaynor, in 1978, repeated this word over and over in her song “I Will Survive” in response to feeling sorry for herself after heartbreak. Her goal was to survive, not thrive. Without a commitment to move forward in bold and dramatic ways, we often allow our dreams to stay frozen in a ‘safe’ place until they die off, one at a time.

Fortunately, “I Will Survive” was followed up in 1979 by Patrick Hernandez who sang “Born to Be Alive!” Over and over in the chorus were words that help us avoid dying and encourage us to go beyond safety …

“You were born, born to be ALIVE!”

I encourage you to listen for any killer words that you tell yourself.

Replace them with affirming, uplifting and empowering words that will set the stage to allow you to soar to new heights in your work as artists, performers and in business.

Remember, as a creator you were born to be ALIVE!