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Today I would like to share some great news with you.
You are guilty.
(Not quite what you were expecting to hear, was it?)
Yes, believe it or not, accepting that we are guilty is powerful and can be the beginning of growth and change.
Determining if we are truly guilty of something can be the initial step towards resolving our offense and moving forward. Whether we have hurt someone we love, procrastinated working on our next important project or made excuses to ourselves about what we are capable of, we are guilty.
But … being guilty of something does not mean that we need to feel shame. Whereas guilt says that I have broken a law, or have done something that hurts either myself or another, shame goes deeper – much, much deeper.
In fact, the difference can be summed up in the following:
Guilt says, “I made a mistake.”
Shame says, “I AM a mistake.”
Wow, the implications between “I made” and “I am” are HUGE!
Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.”
Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.”
~ Walter Elliott
I couldn’t believe my ears as my friend shared his thoughts with me.
“I really hate chocolate … and, I can’t stand that movie Mary Poppins.”
What kind of sane person doesn’t love chocolate? And what lover of classic movies could possibly not enjoy watching Bert and Mary sing and dance?
I decided that he must have some type of severe emotional disorder (as a Psychologist I had to come up with some type of explanation to explain such a startling admission!).
For as long as I can remember, the taste of Hershey chocolate was an experience topped by very few things. As a child, the only thing better was to eat a chocolate bar while watching Mary Poppins – it was the absolute best.
Yet, recently, I read about how these two loves of my life almost never came to be – while also discovering two powerful examples about the power of persistence.
If you start me up … I’ll never stop, never stop.”
~ The Rolling Stones
There are so many things I desire to accomplish yet, somehow, they don’t get done.
I wait for inspiration. I wait for more time or the ‘perfect’ time. I wait for a voice to give me the ok to go for it. Yet, I wait and wait and wait.
I don’t start.
I think too much. I wait to feel ready. I look around for the starting flag to drop. Yet, if I don’t start, I cannot finish. And, if I don’t finish, I will beat myself up and say, “I knew I couldn’t do that. I was right. Who do I think I am?”
By not starting, I reinforce lies. I conclude that the negative, judgmental story I have made up about myself is true.
Yet, if I just start, I can begin to quiet that internal, critical voice that lies to me, that truly believes that it is keeping me safe, keeping me from failure. I can quiet that voice just by starting. Only then do I have the opportunity to succeed … to change my story.