In my work with hundreds of clients over 30 years of coaching and consulting I have discovered a startling fact – feelings are overrated! Now, I am not saying that feelings are not important, or desirable or real – I am saying that they are simply overrated in terms of the focus that we give to them.
My clients, for the most part, begin their coaching journey by describing what they ‘feel’ – “I am afraid, I am depressed, I want to feel more happy, I feel like a failure, I feel like nobody will ever desire me, I feel rejected, I would do anything to not feel this way.”
I listen and honor their sincerity and desire to experience something different in their lives.
Yet as I listen, I shift my focus to what they are thinking and are telling themselves about their situation and what they believe to be true about their life or the things that they fear the most.
Knowing what you want goes hand in hand with knowing who you are. In fact, it is impossible to become an outrageous achiever in any area unless you possess an effective and powerful answer to both questions.
In a recent blog post I discussed the importance of discovering what you really desire in your life and then committing to a specific plan of action to get you there.
What could possibly stand in your way?
Well, look in the mirror and you will see your biggest enemy staring right back at you, telling you their story about why life is so tough, or how they have always failed, or how they are just not enough to become more successful.
The story you hear implies that maybe you don’t have what it takes to achieve your dreams.
If you stumble,
make it part of the dance.”
“In the absence of clearly defined priorities,
we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia.”
I don’t know about you, but I get so tired of hearing about setting goals. There are so many different systems available and reminders of why we should do it – yet the end result is often feelings of guilt and discouragement, with only a small percentage of our goals being achieved.
Although most of us are aware of the importance of setting goals to achieve success, very few actually apply action steps in a way that propels them to achievement. This is true whether it is a short-term goal or a long-term dream that is desired.
I am looking forward to presenting at California Southern University
||October 18, 2013
||Master Lecture Series
||The Art & Practice of Performance Psychology
California Southern University
Irvine, California 92620
||Click here to register.
||Click here for more information.